A Life of Contridictions

It's funny how I go on about what happens and explain what Jackson can not do only to find myself eating my words only a week or so later! I enjoy being able to eat my words when talking about Jackson because I know he's growing and surpassing milestones I was not ready for him to achieve. My last post I spoke about how potty training was not going to well and that he had regressed. Well of course not a week later it all picked back up again. He even took it a step further and went to the bathroom #1 and #2 all by himself, while the babysitter was at the house. This may not sound like a big deal, but when I am not home Jackson does not go #2...he waits for me (I feel so special!), he also does not tell the sitter when he has to go....but this last week was different! Accidents were a rarity! We went from 2-3 accidents a day to maybe 2 a week, I am so proud!!

Now we are approaching school, it's tomorrow. The beginning of school has never been easy. I'm not sad to see him go, because I know he loves his class! My concern is that he does not feel stressed because it does affect his bowl control which we have seen the past 2 years. My hope is that this year he will feel more comfortable in his surroundings and that everything will remain constant. His after school program will change and he will be staying at school until I can pick him up. I hope that this is a good thing, that he will stay where he is supposed to without running off and that the care takers will be excited to see him rather than worry or fearful that he exists in their program. This is something that I always fear. So many people do not know how or don't care to know how to care for him. It's not hard, it is no different than any other child with the exception that he can not vocalize all of his needs which manifest itself as doing before processing what should be done. We are in a predicament after school simply because since we are paying for child care, the provider can refuse to take him, they are not bound to keep him....so I spend a year holding my breath in hopes that he will do as requested and they will continue to welcome him!

I never thought this would be me. I never thought I would have to fight day in and day out for my son to be recognized in a society that I see still greatly discriminates and segregates. I never thought my child would be one that people could not love unconditionally and want to know and be apart of his life...but this is the life that I lead, this is the fight I take up every day! It is an exhausting battle, but as long as I see that he is thriving and learning, then I will continue my fight without compromise!